She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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