Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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