You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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