her vagine was all disorganized.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
