Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize