It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
