OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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