what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
