there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
