we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
But theres a keg here and me gusta
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize