Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize