Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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