i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
