after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
