I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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