Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
