why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
