we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
