I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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