we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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