There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i think i have herpe
just one?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
