PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
