I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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