Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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