I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
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