Tell her she can't have a vagina
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
