i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize