gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
