my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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