yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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