Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
