no. you can't hotbox the world.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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