He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
