do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
