That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
