I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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