people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
