So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
