Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
