how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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