on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
