she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
