no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
