its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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