Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
