Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
