I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
is it fun? or sober?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
