i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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