Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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