All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
oh god the rape fog is back!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
