Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
