things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
