At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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