youre lurking in front of me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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