I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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