I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You've changed since you got that strap on
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