lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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