I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize