Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
