paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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