You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
