Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
