who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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