chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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