My brain says no but my pants say off.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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