I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
