I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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